Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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