im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
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