i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
