Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Randomize