why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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