Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
so let's talk penis.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
