Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
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