He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I fill condoms, not promises.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
