if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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