Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
