drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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