I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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