That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
