Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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