Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
