I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Randomize
