the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Randomize