i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
