She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
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