Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
