Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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