Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
