ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
