I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
