Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
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