Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
