My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
birth control should be required to get into college
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Watching her eat just hurts me
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
