Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
