I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize