If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
