and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
there was a trapeze. enough said
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
