My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
bring money and cleavage
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize