Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize