He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
