Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
