She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
