I got her a Nickelback box set.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
