I'm really into asian looking animals
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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