i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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