I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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