got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
