remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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