what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
