god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
