If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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