Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize