and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
