He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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