): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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