I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
