haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
