Redeem this text for a blowjob
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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