I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
We are two peas in an std pod
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
