i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
