it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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