i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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