so explain again why im purple
no
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
