why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize