She bit a glass in half.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
