He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize